Thursday, March 17, 2011

The Waiting Game -by Joe

One of the toughest aspects of cancer has gotta be those times of waiting for news, waiting for results.  Scans, X-Rays, labwork, appointments, whatever can drive you crazy!  And until the doctors proclaim you cancer-free, it gets increasingly hard not to expect bad news, bad results.

In the photo is "Blu", an amazing service dog, patiently resting on my shoe at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance's 5th floor chemotherapy lobby while his loving owner, Sheryle, visited with Heidi during her chemotherapy.

Heidi and I are slowly learning to wait more like Blu does.  He is patient, loyal and never gives up no matter how long he has to wait.  And Blu's ability to patiently, obediently wait required training.  It's the same for us.

Yesterday and today are good examples.  Heidi's initial labs look bad and we have to wait for the final results.  I started having symptoms again a couple days ago and am getting tests run on me to find out why.  Hopefully, both are false alarms but we have to wait to find out.  And maybe, just maybe, we are getting a little better each time..

As always, thanks for your support! - Joe


  1. i am moved by this insight about waiting and this tenderness for Blu, and by your recent willingness to talk about getting quiet, or as we learned it, "waiting on the Lord," in such a public way. The older I get, the more I understand that concept. I don't imagine an externalized "lord" anymore, but I certainly do know that my best and deepest spirit connection is often only available when I am able to sit down, shut up, breathe, and allow. i know how hard it is to get genuinely quiet and i don't have nearly as rough a road as you do.

    so, today, i will hold you and heidi in my thoughts and wish for more pure Blu waiting, with less panic about what's next, and peace in the moment.

  2. I truly hope the new symptoms are false alarms and that all tests for you and Heidi come back normal. It IS hard to wait. It's letting go and letting God take the reigns, like allowing yourself to surf on the water, allow the flow to carry you. It can lift you greatly to feel God's arms holding you. It will be alright, you and Heidi are blessings to me, that's for sure.