|Heidi, awaiting chemo at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance|
I believe Heidi was hanging on to hope and determined to beat this monster so she wanted me to exert that same strong determination. I tried to do it.
The shocking return of her cancer in 2008, now Stage 4(metastatic) changed the rules. We expected only a year together based on her oncologist's words. My tears became not a symbol of despair but of caring, support. I can't remember how many times we collapsed in each others' arms, stunned that she had fallen into the 15% treatment failure statistic.
And when I got cancer 3 months later I encouraged her tears, & more falling in each others' arms. When Heidi is asleep from side effects, there are 3 mighty cedar trees on our property that welcome me to curl up against their roots, pouring my heart out to God how badly it hurts to see this vibrant woman I cherish facing death from within her own beautiful body.
Whether cancer tears are from fear, from grief, from releasing future dreams/hopes.. if you hold them in they become another type of cancer, eating away at your soul. If you have cancer or have a loved one with cancer, please fight despair but welcome tears.
As always, your support for us is a priceless gift!